英语故事短文带翻译推荐

英语故事短文带翻译推荐10篇 有趣的英语故事小短文带翻译

　　下面是范文网小编收集的英语故事短文带翻译推荐10篇 有趣的英语故事小短文带翻译，供大家赏析。

英语故事短文带翻译推荐1

　　Let's take steps to banish some of the most common negative thoughts many of us repeat to ourselves. Being in a negative space is harmful to our overall well-being, because what you dwell on can easily become self fulfilling if you don't change your mindset.

　　让我们一起行动起来，消灭那些我们经常告诉自己的消极想法吧!如果你不改变想法，而是一味地沉浸在消极的念头中，那么，我们的整个身心就会受到影响，因为“噩梦”也会成真。

　　1.I'm not good enough.

　　我不够好。

　　This type of negative thought that can apply to many categories. Maybe you don't think you're a good enough mother or good at a sport. Even if you find yourself lacking in something, there's no need to keep repeating it to yourself. The human brain is an incredible thing. Be inspired by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, Harvard-trained neuroscientist who suffered a stroke that left her unable to walk, read, write, talk, or remember her previous life. Dr. Taylor took eight years to recover and has since then written a best-selling book about her experience and appeared on Oprah. Keep on working toward something, and watch the leaps and bounds you'll make.

　　这种消极想法有很多类型。比如你认为自己不是个称职的妈妈或不擅长运动。即使你真的`发现了自己的弱点，也没必要对自己不断复述。人脑是神奇的。吉尔泰勒就是个激励的好典型，她是哈佛大学的神经系统学专家，中风后她就失去了行走、阅读、书写、交谈的能力了，甚至还失忆了。她花了八年的时间复原，用自己的经历写了畅销书，还上了奥普拉的节目。坚持做一件事，亲眼见证自己的变化。

　　2.No one cares about me.

　　没人关心我。

　　To accurately say that your family and friends don't care about you would be a very rare situation. Maybe you're being too negative and overlooking the gestures of love they show you. They don't even have to be big gestures, but it's the little things they do for you that count. And people may be reacting to the energy you're putting out; perhaps you think they don't care about you so you don't make any effort in your relationships. Start showing people you care, so they can show you back in kind. And if you don't have good relationships with the people you know, what's stopping you from making new friends?

　　家人朋友都不关心你，这种情况其实不太常见。可能你过于消极的想法使你忽略了他们对你表达的爱。他们甚至并不需要为你做什么惊天动地的大事，正是一些小事才真正打动人心。或者你觉得没人关心你，所以无需再经营人际关系，但其实也许人们只有在感知到你的付出后，才会对你进行回报;关心别人，别人才会关心你。如果你和周围人的关系处理不好，为何不结交些新朋友?

　　3.I really dislike this person.

　　我真的不喜欢这个人。

　　If you dislike a person in your work or personal life, focusing on her bad qualities is not going to make things better. You need to let go of your assumptions about her and know that she is human too, which means she makes mistakes. Either you move on and stop thinking and talking about her, or learn to approach her or think about her in a positive manner. Focus on her good qualities, and repeat them to yourself instead of honing in on the unpleasant things.

　　如果工作或生活中有你讨厌的人，只关注她的缺点有害无益。你需要放下对她的所有成见，告诉自己她也是个人，也有犯错的时候。要么就不再谈论她和想着她，要么学着去接近她，或想想她好的一面。多想想她的优点，不要再专注于让你不开心的事情。

　　4.Why is she better off?

　　为什么她比我好?

　　Comparing yourself to someone else is never productive or positive. There's always going to be someone who is younger, prettier, smarter, or richer than you. If you keep coveting what someone else has, then this may cause you to be resentful of them, which will open a whole other negative can of worms. Remember, what they don't have is your whole package. Be appreciative of what you have, because if you want to play the comparison game, remember that there are people who are also worse off than you are.

　　和别人比较永远不是有效率和积极的表现。总有比你年轻，漂亮，聪明，富有的人。如果你始终关注别人拥有什么，会带来你对他们的恨意，随即带来更多消极的想法。记住，你所拥有的也是他们所没有的。珍惜你所拥有的东西，如果真的想和别人比较，也别忘了总有比你差的人。

　　5.I'll never reach my goal.

　　我永远无法达到目标。

　　If you think you're not going to be able “get there,” think again. There are many people who are worse off and have overcome bigger obstacles than what you are facing. Take, for example, Olympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius, an amputee who overcame his handicap to compete in the Olympics against his able-bodied peers. Everything is within your reach as long as you work hard and have a a positive attitude.

　　如果你认为自己达不到，再想想。比你差的人比比皆是，他们遇到的困难也比你的更大。比如，奥运会短跑选手刀锋战士奥斯卡·皮斯托利斯，一个被截肢的运动员，战胜了自己的阻碍，在其他健壮的对手中脱颖而出赢得了奥运会的冠军。只要你努力付出，有着积极的信念，任何事都能够做到。

英语故事短文带翻译推荐2

　　人在碰到困难时，很容易会沮丧。不过无论受到折磨或者痛苦，都不用因此失去信心，因为对你来说原本是很痛苦的事，其实是上天的美妙恩典。

　　The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island.

　　在一场船难中，唯一的生存者随着潮水，漂流到一座无人岛上。

　　He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him,

　　他天天激动地祈祷神救他能够早日离开此处，回到家乡。

　　and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

　　他还每天注视着海上有否可搭救他的人，但却是除了汪洋一片，什么也没有。

　　Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him fromthe elements, and to store his few possessions.

　　后来，他决定用那片带他到小岛的木头造一个简陋的小木屋，以保护他在这险恶的环境中生存，并且保存他所有剩下的东西。

　　But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, thesmoke rolling up to the sky.

　　但有一天，在他捕完食物后，准备回小屋时，突然发现他的小屋竟然陷在熊熊烈火之中， 大火引起的浓烟不断向天上窜。

　　The worst had happened; everything was lost.

　　最悲惨的是：他所有的一切东西，在这一瞬间通通化为乌有了。

　　He was stunned with grief and anger. “God how could you do this to me!” he cried.

　　悲痛的他，气愤的对天吶喊着：神啊!你怎么可以这样对待我!顿时，眼泪从他的眼角中流出。

　　Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching theisland.

　　第二天一早，他被一艘正靠近小岛的船只的鸣笛声所吵醒。

　　It had come to rescue him.

　　是的，有人来救他了。

“How did you know I was here?” asked the weary man of his rescuers. “We saw your smokesignal,” they replied.

　　到了船上时，他问那些船员说：「你怎么知道我在这里?」

　　It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad.

「因为我们看到了信号般的浓烟。」他们回答说。 人在碰到困难时，很容易会沮丧。

　　But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain andsuffering.

　　不过无论受到折磨或者痛苦，都不用因此失去信心，因为上帝一直在我们心里面做着奇妙的工作。

　　Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signalthat summons the grace of God.

　　记住：当下一次你的小木屋着火时，那可能只是上帝美妙恩典的表征而已。

　　For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,God has a positive answer for it.

　　在所有我们所认为负面的事情，上帝都是有正面答案的。

英语故事短文带翻译推荐3

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.“What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old lady,” he answered.

“You are a good boy,” said the mother proudly.“Here are two cents more. But why are you sointerested in the old lady?”

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

　　Cent [s?nt]：美分

　　proud [pra?d]：骄傲的

　　Interest ['?ntr?st]：兴趣，利息

　　Candy [?k?nd?]：糖果

　　小罗伯特昨天向妈妈要了两分钱，妈妈问他：“昨天我给你的钱花哪里去了?”

“我把钱给了一位可怜的老太太。”他回答。

“你真是个好孩子!”妈妈自豪地说，“再给你两分钱，但是你为什么那么在意那位老太太呢?”

“因为她卖给我糖果吃。”小罗伯特说。

　　公众号：英语故事课堂

英语故事短文带翻译推荐4

　　a Bad Impression

　　Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.

　　at last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him, “You left something behind in the compartment!”Then he closed the window again.

　　The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, “What did I leave behind?”

　　as the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and said, “A very bad impression!”

　　Impression [?m'pr???n]：印象;效果

　　passenger [p?snd??]：乘客

　　Compartment [k?m'pɑrtm?nt]：隔间;划分

　　火车上，六个人坐在一个小隔间，其中五个都很安静，举止得体，但有一个年轻人却很粗鲁，不停地给其他乘客制造麻烦。

　　终于，这个年轻人到站了，他带着两个很重的包裹下车，但没有一个人愿意帮他拿行李。年轻人下车走了很远之后，一位乘客打开车窗向他喊道：“你落下东西在座位上了!”然后关上了车窗。

　　年轻人赶紧带着他那两个大包裹转身回来，当他终于气喘吁吁地来到车厢外，他冲着窗户向里面喊：“我落了什么东西在车上?”

　　当火车开始开动的时候，那位把他喊回来的乘客打开车窗对他说：“一个很糟糕的印象!”

　　公众号：英语故事课堂

英语故事短文带翻译推荐5

　　译文：世界上最珍贵的是什么?有人说时间，健康，黄金等等。我认为最宝贵的是生命，因为每个人只有一次生命。

　　To cross the road, look around. Not on the road to play and run. See the red light to stop, and see the green light to go. Let us follow traffic safety, to minimize traffic accidents, ?so traffic will never disappear.

　　译文：过马路时，环顾四周。不在路上玩耍和奔跑。看到红灯停，看到绿灯走。让我们遵循交通安全，尽量减少交通事故，使交通永远不会消失。

　　an individual human existence should be like a river—small at first,narrowly contained within its banks,and rushing passionately past boulders and over waterfalls.Gradually the river grows wider,the banks recede,the waters flow more quietly,and in the end,without any visible break,they become merged in the sea,and painlessly lose their individual being.

　　译文：人的生命应当像河流,开始是涓涓细流,受两岸的而十分狭窄,尔后奔腾咆哮,翻过危岩,飞越瀑布,河面渐渐开阔,河岸也随之向两边隐去,最后水流平缓,森森无际,汇入大海之中,个人就这样毫无痛苦地消失了。

“Can't” is the worst word that can be written or spoken， and can do more harm than lying. Many strong spirits have been broken by it. It springs from the lips of thoughtless people each morning and robs us of the courage we need that day. It rings in our ears like a timely sent warning and laughs when we fall by the way. “

　　译文：“不行”是我们所能写出和说出的最糟的词，它比谎言更具破坏力。许多坚强的人都曾被它打败。每天早上它被那些鲁莽的人从口中吐出，剥夺了我们一天该有的勇气。它像一个时刻徘徊在我们耳边的警告，当我们跌倒时它就会立即出来嘲笑我们。

　　There is no need to wade through crocodile-infested waters when there is a safe bridge to use. Sheer hard work and determination is great, but not at the expense of enjoyment and a sense of fulfillment along the journey. So staying motivated is important to maintain this exciting path to success. It doesn't matter how far away your out come is, because you are going to enjoy the trip.

　　译文：当有一座安全的桥可以使用时，就没有必要涉过鳄鱼出没的水域。纯粹的努力和决心是伟大的，但不能以牺牲旅途中的享受和成就感为代价。所以保持动力对于保持这条通往成功的激动人心的道路是很重要的.。不管你走得有多远，因为你会享受这段旅程。

　　pretend. That is all you can do. Whether you are a cleaning worker or serving customers, speak to Watch the smile on their faces as if you brought it to them. Enthusiasm is infectious. If you focus on enjoying your tasks, they will be easier. Time flies when you are having fun. Enjoy life at present, and don’t just wait for the end result.

　　译文：你所能做的只有假装。不论你是清洁工还是服务员,与别人说话需谨慎。看着他们脸上的笑容,就像这笑容是你带给他们的一样。热情是能传染的。如果你能专心享受自己的工作,他人也会更舒服。时光如梭,享受现在的生活,不要只是等待最后的结果。

英语故事短文带翻译推荐6

　　关于英语笑话短文带翻译

　　1、“One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said ”Da-Dy“ to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word ”Dady“ to teach their baby. During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry ”Dady“. His wife said to him, ”Darling, she is calling you.“ Then she turned to sleep.一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：“爸-爸。”约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了“爸爸”这个词首先教孩子。 几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，“爸-爸！”“她在叫你，亲爱的。”妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。”

　　2、“Three Men in a BoatThree men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.”Oh yes, “ he said. ”They are my friends.“In that case, ” warned the officer, “you'd better get them out of here!”“Yes, sir, ” the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.三人同舟三位男子在公园的长椅上坐着。中间的一个在读报纸，另外两个在假装钓鱼。他们给想象的鱼钩上鱼饵，放线，并卷线把鱼抓上来。一位过路警察驻足观察了这个景象，他问中间的那个男子是否认识其他两位。“喔，认识，”他说，“他们是我的朋友。”“那样的话，”警察告诫说，“你最好把他们从这里弄走。”“好的，警官。”那男子回答说，接着就开始疯狂般地做起划桨的动作来。“

　　3、A poor man， presenting himself before the King of Spain，asked his charity， telling him that he was his brother． Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him， the poorfellow replied，“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz．， Adam and Eve．” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money． The poor man beganto bemoan himself， saying，“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother？”“Away，away，”replies the king；“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done， you'll be richer than Iam．”一个穷汉去见西班牙国王，说自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩周济。国王想知道他何以攀认亲戚，穷汉回答说，“我们有共同的祖先——亚当和夏娃。”听了这话，国王就给了他一个小铜子儿。于是穷人开始叫屈，说：“难道您国王陛下就给兄弟这么一点点钱吗？”“走开，快走，”国王回答，“如果世界上你所有的兄弟们都像我这样给你一个铜板，你就比我还有钱了。”

　　4、”When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of “Nikes” from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, “Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?” His friend replies: “I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you.”两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗？” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”“

　　5、”Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool（毒菌） ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢？年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇。“

　　6、”A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?”The winning reply was: “The one nearest the exit.”一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅？”获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”“

　　7、”Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. “Thank you very much for your help,” the note read. “As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. ”有一次，我收到一封感谢信，是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张彩票，都被刮过了，露出了数字。“非常感谢您的帮助，”信上写道，“作为礼物，我给您买了些彩票----真遗憾，您没中奖。”“

　　8、”After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.In an instant, a skycap was at his side. “Sir,” observed the porter, “ you certainly have excellent communication skills.我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。””

　　9、“”Oh, my poor man,“ exclaimed the kind old lady， ”It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind.“”You're absolutely right,“ said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game.” When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins.“”啊，可怜的人，“善良的老妇人惊叹道。”脚瘸就够惨的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。“”你说的一点儿没错，“那乞丐说。他显然是乞讨老手。”我眼瞎的时候，人们老是给我外币。“”

　　10、“After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. ”What's so special about this coffin?“ I asked the funeral director. He replied, ”It has a lifetime warranty.“在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别？”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。”

　　11、“While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.在购买我的第一部CD唱机时，我能够解读推销标记上面的大多数技术语言。但是有一个标示却让我颇为迷惑，于是我叫过销售商，问道：‘混合脉冲D/A变换器’是什么意思？它的意思是，她说，这个机器能够读CD碟上加码的数字信息，将它转换成声音信息－也就是说，转换成音乐。换句话说，这个CD唱机能够播放CD碟。正是如此。”

　　12、“The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch（故障） arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron（赞助人，主顾） was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub（涂抹，涂料） of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.一天，有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅法老王渡红海图。这幅画刚开始不久，酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现，完成这幅画后，他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后，那位主顾被请来看画。其实，这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。这是什么？那位买主喊了起来。我要的是红海，是那次著名的航海。这就是，霍迦斯回答说。可是以色列人在哪儿？他们都已经渡过去了。埃及人在哪儿？他们全都淹死了。”

　　13、“The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, ”How high do you think they'll build the fence?“ ”I don't know, “ said the kangaroo. ”Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上，人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火，又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高？” “我不知道，”袋鼠说，“如果他们继续开着大门，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”“

　　14、”Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:″I have known many an instance（实例） of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″一个星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的几封信。他打开其中一封,发现信中只写着“傻瓜”两个字。他平静而认真地把这件事告诉教友们：“写信时忘了签名的人,我遇到过很多,但只签了名却忘了写信的人,我还是头一次遇到。”“

　　15、”The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. “My son is a monsignor,” said the first proud woman. “When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'.” The second mother went on, “My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'.”“My son is a cardinal.” continued the next one. “When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'. ” The fourth mother thought for a moment. “My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, ” she said. “When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!”四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。” “我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝’！”“

　　16、”Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft（阁楼） and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry（钟楼） and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated（熏制） , and they still won’t go away.The third said, I baptized（洗礼） all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”“

　　17、An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement． A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor．How are you？ “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me．I've been limping for the last half hour．”有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了？” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”

　　18、”George comes from school on the first of September.“George, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.“I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....”9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？” 妈妈问。“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”“

　　19、”A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.“I can't hear out of my left ear,” the man told the judge.“Can you hear out of your right ear?” the judge asked. The man nodded his head. “You'll be allowed to serve on the jury,” the judge declared. “We only listen to one side of the case at a time.”一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。“你的右边耳朵听得见吗？”法官问道。那人点了点头。“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”“

　　20、”“We have a skunk in the basement,” shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. “How can we get it out?”“Take some bread crumbs,” said the dispatcher, “and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open.”Sometime later the resident called back. “Did you get rid of it?” asked the dispatcher.“No,” replied the caller. “Now I have two skunks in there!”“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。“我们怎样才能把它弄出来？”“弄一些面包屑，”调度员说;“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门打开。”一段时间后，那人又打电话打了回来。“你们将它弄出来了吗？”调度员问他。“没有，”打电话的人答道，“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。”“

　　21、”A short young man was running behind a bus which was full of passengers. But the bus still ran at a great speed. “Stop, stop, ” a passenger looked out of the window, and shouted at the young man, “you can't catch it ! ” “I must,” the young fellow said, out of breath, “because I'm only driver of the bus.在一辆满载乘客的公共汽车后面，一位小个子青年在奔跑着。气车仍在高速前进。 “停下吧，”一位乘客把头伸出窗子，对小个子喊道，“你追不上的！” “我必须追上，”小个子气喘吁吁地说，“我是司机！””

　　22、“Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn' t like washing hands──she' s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae（蝉）. Habitually she rubbed her grease fingers on her real silk short gown. I held back (阻挡) her from doing it: ” What do you want to do?“ She was immediately on to （意识）her blame, replied at ease（从容）: ” I' m akimbo.“像大多数别的小孩一样，两岁艾咪丽雅不爱洗手，吃东西弄脏手，随便在身上一抹就得了。一天我正陪她吃炸知了，她手上的油多了，便习惯地往真丝小褂子上蹭，我阻止道：“你想干什么？”她马上意识到问题所在，从容答道：“我叉腰。””

　　23、“Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, ”OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.从前，有个人很富有，但他不识字。一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一头公牛，便写了个条，让仆人送到富人那里。 仆人把条子给了富人。富人便假装看了一会儿，然后说道：“好啦，我知道了。回去告诉你的主人，我马上自己过去。”“

　　24、”A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, the toast is burned.You talked! You talked! Shouted his mother. I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?Well, up till now, Said the boy, things have been okay.一对年轻夫妇有个儿子，已经四岁了，还没有开口说话，他们对此深感焦虑。他们带他去找专家诊治，但医生们总觉得他没有毛病。后来有一天早上吃早餐时，那孩子突然开口了：妈妈，面包烤焦了。你说话了！你说话了!他母亲叫了起来。我太高兴了！但为什么花了这么长的时间呢？哦，在这之前，那男孩说，一切都很正常。“

　　25、”Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。女孩：应该只有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。“

　　26、”In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, “What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”“To be deaf,” replied the boy.“Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.“Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩：“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么？”“耳聋，”男孩答道。“胡说！”老师气愤地说。“怎么了，先生！难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗？”男孩轻蔑地反问道。“

　　27、”One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, “What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?” “Well, my son,” his father replied, “look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”“But, dad,” the boy said, “ there's only ONE policeman!”一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”“

　　28、”Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...有一个神经病，不知道从哪里弄来了一把手枪，他走在一条小黑胡同里。突然遇上一个年轻人，神经病二话不说将其按在地上用枪指着他的头。问道，一加一得几。年轻人吓坏了，沉思了很久。回答，等于二。神经病毫不犹豫的打死了他。然后把抢拽在怀里，冰冷的说了一句，你知道的太多了…“

　　29、”The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.“How old are you?” he said.“Eighteen, sir,” said John.“But your brother was eighteen, too,” said the doctor. “Are you twins?”“Oh, no, sir,” said John, and his face went red. “My brother is five months older than I am.”第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。“你多大了？”军医问。“十八，长官。”约翰说。“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗？”约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”“

　　30、”Little Johnny says “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.”“You've done the right thing,” says Mommy.“But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap.”小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”“

　　31、Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了

　　32、”The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. “Mary !” called the teacher sharply. “Yes,Madam?” questioned the pupil , “Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!”一个女学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里，被老师发现了。“玛丽！”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事，老师？”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。”“

　　33、”Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, “What happened?”“A kid bit me,” replied Ivan.“Would you recognize him if you saw him again?” asked his mother.“I'd know him any where,” said Ivan. “I have his ear in my pocket.”伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”“

　　34、”Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, “What's the time, please?”After a few months, Dan said to himself, “I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here.” Then he did so.“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time,“ he thought happily.But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, ”Is that clock right?”丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？”几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。“现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗？”“

　　35、”One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope. After the son comes back, the father asks him: “You have thrown the letter in the mail box?” “Certainly”“You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?”“I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.” “Then why you didn't take it back?” “I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!”有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢？”“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”“

　　36、”I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand（使命，差事） . When I came back, I found this note from my son: “Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better.”我在做面包，需要把面团放在一个暖和点的地方使它发起来。我把面盆放在电热褥里，后来就出去干别的活去了。等我回家时，发现儿子留下一张纸条，上面写着：“亲爱的妈妈，我希望您的面包已经病好了。”“

　　37、”Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。“

　　38、”Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。“

　　39、”The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被宠坏的） . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。“

　　40、”Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, “Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.”“Why did it make you late?” inquired the teacher.“Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time.” replied Mike.麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”“为什么它会让你迟到呢？”老师问道。“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。“

　　41、”One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?The little girl replied, My homework.一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了！我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么？小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业。“

　　42、”When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.” As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . ”我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”“

　　43、”Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?Reggie: That's what I want to find out.里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？里基：这正是我想要查明的。“

　　44、”Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。妈妈，这简单， 艾曼斯回答。我把电视机给卖了！“

　　45、”Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, “Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?” Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, “So, you want to switch seats?”婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？” 他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交换座位吗？”“

　　46、”Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧“

　　47、”Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。“

　　48、Professor: When is your birthday?Kid: May 30.Professor: Which year?Kid: Every year.教授：你的生日是什么时候？孩子：5月30日。教授：哪一年？孩子：每年都是。

　　49、”A bunch of great, DEAD scientists were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. When it's Einstein's turn to be the seeker, he counted untill 100 and opened his eyes. All the others were hide, but only Newton were still standing there.一群伟大的科学家去世后在天堂里玩藏猫猫。轮到爱因斯坦抓人，他数到100睁开眼睛，看到所有的人都藏起来了，只有牛顿还站在那里。“

　　50、”Teacher: “John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”John: “What do you think it is, sir?”Teacher: “I don't think, I KNOW!”John: “I don't think I know either, sir!”老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么？”。约翰：“你想它是什么呢”？老师：“我不用想，我知道！”。约翰：“我想我不知道”。“

　　51、”An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.“I've got good news and bad news,” the owner replied.“Give me the good news first,” the artist demanded.“The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”“That's wonderful!” the artist exclaimed, “What could the bad news possibly be?”With concern, the gallery owner replied, “The gentleman in question was your doctor.”以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”“那太棒了！”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢？”店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。“

　　52、”A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, “Have you enjoyed yourself today?”“Oh, yes, miss!” said Sally, “It was lovely. All except the music, that is.”一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”“

　　53、”Teacher: “John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?”John: “What do you think it is, sir?”Teacher: “I don't think, I KNOW!”John: “I don't think I know either, sir!”‘老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么？”。约翰：“你想它是什么呢”？老师：“我不用想，我知道！”。约翰：“我想我不知道”。“

　　54、”Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。“

　　55、Student A: When do people talk least?Student B: In February.Student A: Why?Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。

　　56、”Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?Tom: Men.Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?Tom: Twins.“孩子”的复数形式老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?汤姆：男人们。老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。“

　　57、”A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, “Have you enjoyed yourself today?”“Oh, yes, miss!” said Sally, “It was lovely. All except the music, that is.”一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”“

　　58、”My Sister's FingersTeacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.Teacher: I don't see any bandages.Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。“

　　59、”The Climate of New ZealandTeacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.Teacher: Wrong.Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。老师：错了。马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。“

　　60、”One student to another: “How are your English lessons coming along?”“Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me.”一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”“

　　61、”The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.“It's all right,” said a gentleman, “don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?”“Ah, yes,” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?”一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”“

　　62、知道”Family“这个单词的含义吗？ 爸 F ather和 A nd妈 M other我 I爱 L ove你 Y ou爸妈我爱你=家庭。

　　63、小时侯上学，把“English” 读为“应给利息”的同学当了银行行长；读为“阴沟里洗”的成了菜贩子；读为“因果联系”的成了哲学家；读为“硬改历史”的成了政治家; 读为“英国里去”的成了海外华侨；而我，不小心读成了“应该累死”结果成了打工的！

　　64、上英语课，老师问：“知识是什么?”全班人回答：“knowledge !”就我一个特么特大声的说：“力量!!!”

　　65、“苹果用英语怎么说?”我问。“Apple”侄女高兴地回答。“香蕉用英语怎么说”我接着问。“Banana‘她快速地答到。“嗯，不错啊，那小鸭子用英语怎么说啊?”小侄女犹豫了一下，接着答“嘎，嘎……”

　　66、你伤害了Word，还Excel而过，你Access的贪婪，我Outlook懦弱。One泪Note过，回忆是多Binder，只怪自己Mail你PowerPoint。

　　67、去年春节回老家时，看到一个老外在向一个农民伯伯问路。只见那个老外一边说着生硬的中文，一边用手笔划，但那个农民伯伯却还是不明白。最后，那个农民伯伯说了一句让我至今难忘的话：“Can you speak English?”

　　68、刚刚去营业厅冲话费，听到服务小姐说，how much?我愣了好久，没反应过来，心想英语都普及到这地步了?遂回答，50。他也愣了，又重复了一次，我这才听明白她刚才说的是，号码是?

　　69、我们外国同事突然问我：你们中国人最爱用的外语口头禅是不是“what‘s up‘?感觉你们见面时常说“what‘s up‘，有时候自己对着电脑都会自言自语说，是受美国文化影响么？我想了半天是不是有这么回事，然后突然恍然大悟，对她说：我操！

　　70、“闺女，香蕉用英语怎么说?”“banana！”“苹果呢?”“iPhone！”“那大苹果呢?”“iPad！”

英语故事短文带翻译推荐7

　　THERE was once a darning-needle who thought herself so fine that she fancied she must be fitfor embroidery. “Hold me tight,” she would say to the fingers, when they took her up, “don'tlet me fall; if you do I shall never be found again, I am so very fine.” “That is your opinion, isit?” said the fingers, as they seized her round the body. “See, I am coming with a train,” saidthe darning-

　　needle, drawing a long thread after her; but there was no knot in the thread.The fingers then placed the point of the needle against the cook's slipper. There was a crack inthe upper leather, which had to be sewn together. “What coarse work!” said the darning-needle, “I shall never get through. I shall break!- I am breaking!” and sure enough she broke. “Did I not say so?” said the darning-needle, “I know I am too fine for such work as that.” “Thisneedle is quite useless for sewing now,” said the fingers; but they still held it fast, and the cookdropped some sealing-wax on the needle, and fastened her handkerchief with it in front. “Sonow I am a breast-pin,” said the darning-needle; “I knew very well I should come to honorsome day: merit is sure to rise;” and she laughed, quietly to herself, for of course no one eversaw a darning-

　　needle laugh. And there she sat as proudly as if she were in a state coach, andlooked all around her. “May I be allowed to ask if you are made of gold?” she inquired of herneighbor, a pin; “you have a very pretty appearance, and a curious head, although you arerather small. You must take pains to grow, for it is not every one who has sealing

-wax droppedupon him;” and as she spoke, the darning-needle drew herself up so proudly that she fell outof the handkerchief right into the sink, which the cook was cleaning. “Now I am going on ajourney,” said the needle, as she floated away with the dirty water, “I do hope I shall not belost.” But she really was lost in a gutter. “I am too fine for this world,” said the darning-needle, as she lay in the gutter; “but I know who I am, and that is always some comfort.” Sothe darning-needle kept up her proud behavior, and did not lose her good humor. Then therefloated over her all sorts of things,-

　　Chips and straws, and pieces of old newspaper. “See howthey sail,” said the darning-needle; “they do not know what is under them. I am here, and hereI shall stick. See, there goes a chip, thinking of nothing in the world but himself-

　　only a chip.There's a straw going by now; how he turns and twists about! Don't be thinking too much ofyourself, or you may chance to run against a stone. There swims a piece of newspaper; what iswritten upon it has been forgotten long ago, and yet it gives itself airs. I sit here patiently andquietly. I know who I am, so I shall not move.” One day something lying close to the darning-

　　needle glittered so splendidly that she thought it was a diamond; yet it was only a piece ofbroken bottle. The darning-needle spoke to it, because it sparkled, and represented herself asa breast-pin. “I suppose you are really a diamond?” she said. “Why yes, something of thekind,” he replied; and so each believed the other to be very valuable, and then they began totalk about the world, and the conceited people in it. “I have been in a lady's work-box,” saidthe darning-needle, “and this lady was the cook. She had on each hand five fingers, andanything so conceited as these five fingers I have never seen; and yet they were onlyemployed to take me out of the box and to put me back again.” “Were they not high-born?” “High-born!” said the darning-needle, “no indeed, but so haughty. They were five brothers, allborn fingers; they kept very proudly together, though they were of different lengths. The onewho stood first in the rank was named the thumb, he was short and thick, and had only onejoint in his back, and could therefore make but one bow; but he said that if he were cut offfrom a man's hand, that man would be unfit for a soldier. Sweet-

　　Tooth, his neighbor, dippedhimself into sweet or sour, pointed to the sun and moon, and formed the letters when thefingers wrote. Longman, the middle finger, looked over the heads of all the others. Gold-

　　Band,the next finger, wore a golden circle round his waist. And little Playman did nothing at all, andseemed proud of it. They were boasters, and boasters they will remain; and therefore I leftthem.” “And now we sit here and glitter,” said the piece of broken bottle. At the same momentmore water streamed into the gutter, so that it overflowed, and the piece of bottle was carriedaway. “So he is promoted,” said the darning-needle, “while I remain here; I am too fine, butthat is my pride, and what do I care?” And so she sat there in her pride, and had many suchthoughts as these,- “I could almost fancy that I came from a sunbeam, I am so fine. It seemsas if the sunbeams were always looking for me under the water. Ah! I am so fine that even mymother cannot find me. Had I still my old eye, which was broken off, I believe I should weep;but no, I would not do that, it is not genteel to cry.” One day a couple of street boys werepaddling in the gutter, for they sometimes found old nails, farthings, and other treasures. Itwas dirty work, but they took great pleasure in it. “Hallo!” cried one, as he pricked himself withthe darning-needle, “here's a fellow for you.” “I am not a fellow, I am a young lady,” said thedarning-needle; but no one heard her. The sealing-wax had come off, and she was quite black;but black makes a person look slender, so she thought herself even finer than before. “Herecomes an egg-shell sailing along,” said one of the boys; so they stuck the darning-needle intothe egg-shell. “White walls, and I am black myself,” said the darning-needle, “that looks well;now I can be seen, but I hope I shall not be sea-sick, or I shall break again.” She was not sea-sick, and she did not break.

“It is a good thing against sea-

　　Sickness to have a steel stomach,and not to forget one's own importance. Now my sea-sickness has past: delicate people canbear a great deal.” Crack went the egg-shell, as a waggon passed over it. “Good heavens, howit crushes!” said the darning-needle. “I shall be sick now. I am breaking!” but she did notbreak, though the waggon went over her as she lay at full length; and there let her lie.

　　织布针

　　从前有一根织补衣服的针。作为一根织补针来说，她倒还算细巧，因此她就想像自己是一根绣花针。“请你们注意你们现在拿着的这东西吧!”她对那几个取她出来的手指说。“你们不要把我失掉!我一落到地上去，你们就决不会找到我的，因为我是那么细呀!”“细就细好了，”手指说。它们把她拦腰紧紧地捏住。“你们看，我还带着随从啦!”她说。她后面拖着一根长线，不过线上并没有打结。

　　手指正把这根针钉着女厨子的一只拖鞋，因为拖鞋的皮面裂开了，需要缝一下。“这是一件庸俗的工作，”织补针说。“我怎么也不愿钻进去。我要折断!我要折断了!”——於是她真的折断了。“我不是说过吗?”织补针说，“我是非常细的呀!”

　　手指想：她现在没有甚么用了。不过它们仍然不愿意放弃她，因为女厨子在针头上滴了一点封蜡，同时把她别在一块手帕上。“现在我成为一根领针(註：领针(brystnaal)是一种装饰*?，穿西装时插在领带上;针头上一般镶有一颗珍珠。)了!”织补针说。“我早就知道我会得到光荣的：一个不平凡的人总会得到一个不平凡的地位!”

　　於是她心里笑了——当一根织补针在笑的时候，人们是没有办法看到她的外部表情的。她别在那儿，显得很骄傲，好像她是坐在轿车里，左顾右盼似的。“请准许我问一声：您是金子做的吗?”她问她旁边的一根别针。“你有一张非常好看的面孔，一个自己的头脑——只是小了一点。你得使它再长大一点才成，因为封蜡并不会滴到每根针头上的呀。”

　　织补针很骄傲地挺起身子，结果弄得自己从手帕上落下来了，一直落到厨子正在沖洗的污水沟里去了。“现在我要去旅行了，”织补针说。“我只希望我不要迷了路!”

　　不过她却迷了路。“就这个世界说来，我是太细了，”她来到了排水沟的时候说。“不过我知道我的身份，而这也算是一点小小的安慰!”

　　所以织补针继续保持着她骄傲的态度，同时也不失掉她得意的心情。许多不同的东西在她身上浮过去了：菜屑啦，草叶啦，旧报纸碎片啦。“请看它们游得多么快!”织补针说。“它们不知道它们下面还有一件甚么东西!我就在这儿，我坚定地坐在这儿!看吧，一根棍子浮过来了，它以为世界上除了棍子以外再也没有甚么别的东西。它就是这样一个傢伙!一根草浮过来了。你看它扭着腰肢和转动的那副样儿!不要以为自己了不起吧，你很容易撞到一块石头上去呀!一张破报纸游过来了!它上面印着的东西早已被人家忘记了，但是它仍然铺张开来，神气十足。我有耐心地、静静地坐在这儿。我知道我是谁，我永远保持住我的本来面目!”

　　有一天她旁边躺着一件甚么东西。这东西射出美丽的光彩。织补针认为它是一颗金刚钻。不过事实上它是一个瓶子的碎片。因为它发出亮光，所以织补针就跟它讲话，把自己介绍成为一根领针。“我想你是一颗钻石吧?”她说。“嗯，对啦，是这类东西。”

　　於是双方就相信自己都是价值很高的物件。他们开始谈论，说世上的人一般都是觉得自己非常了不起。“我曾经在一位小姐的匣子里住过，”织补针说，“这位小姐是一个厨子。她每只手上有五个指头。我从来没有看到像这五个指头那样骄傲的东西，不过他们的作用只是拿着我，把我从匣子里取出来和放进去罢了。”“他们也能射出光彩来吗?”瓶子的碎片问。“光彩!”织补针说，“甚么也没有，不过自以为了不起罢了。他们是五个兄弟，都属於手指这个家族。他们互相标榜，虽然他们是长短不齐：最前面的一个是”笨摸“(註：”笨摸“、”餂罐“、”长人“、”金火“和”比尔——玩朋友“，是丹麦孩子对五个指头所起的绰号。大拇指摸东西不灵活，所以叫做”笨摸“;二指常常代替吞头伸到果酱罐里去餂东西吃，所以叫”餂罐“;四指因为戴戒指，所以看起来像有一道金火;小指叫做”比尔——玩朋友“，因为它甚么用也没有。)，又短又肥。他走在最前列，他的背上只有一个节，因此他只能同时鞠一个躬;不过他说，假如他从一个人身上砍掉的话，这人就不够资格服兵役了。第二个指头叫做”餂罐“，他伸到酸东西和甜东西里面去，他指着太阳和月亮;当大家在写字的时候，他握着笔。第三个指头是”长人“，他伸在别人的头上看东西。第四个指头是”金火“，他腰间围着一条金带子。最小的那个是”比尔——玩朋友“，他甚么事也不做，而自己还因此感到骄傲呢。他们甚么也不做，只是吹牛，因此我才到排水沟里来了!”“这要算是升级!”瓶子的碎片说。

　　这时有更多的水沖进排水沟里来了，漫得遍地都是，结果把瓶子的碎片沖走了。“瞧，他倒是升级了!”织补针说。“但是我还坐在这儿，我是那么细。不过我也正因此感到骄傲，而且也很光荣!”於是她骄傲地坐在那儿，发出了许多感想。“我差不多要相信我是从日光里出生的了，因为我是那么细呀!我觉得日光老是到水底下来寻找我。啊!我是这么细，连我的母亲都找不到我了。如果我的老针眼没有断了的话，我想我是要哭出来的——但是我不能这样做：哭不是一桩文雅的事情!”

　　有一天几个野孩子在排水沟里找东西——他们有时在这里能够找到旧钉、铜板和类似的物件。这是一件很髒的工作，不过他们却非常欣赏这类的事儿。“哎哟!”一个孩子说，因为他被织补针刺了一下，“原来是你这个傢伙!”“我不是一个傢伙，我是一位年轻小姐啦!”织补针说。可是谁也不理她。她身上的那滴封蜡早已没有了，全身已经变得漆黑。不过黑颜色能使人变得苗条，因此她相信她比以前更细嫩。“瞧，一个蛋壳起来了!”孩子们说。他们把织补针插到蛋壳上面。“四周的墙是白色的，而我是黑色的!这倒配得很好!”织补针说。“现在谁都可以看到我了。——我只希望我不要晕船才好，因为这样我就会折断的!”不过她一点也不会晕船，而且也没有折断。“一个人有钢做的肚皮，是不怕晕船的，同时还不要忘记，我和一个普通人比起来，是更高一招的。我现在一点毛病也没有。一个人越纤细，他能受得住的东西就越多。”“砰!”这时蛋壳忽然裂开了，因为一辆载重车正在它上面碾过去。“我的天，它把我碾得真厉害!”织补针说。“我现在有点晕船了——我要折断了!我要折断了!”

　　虽然那辆载重车在她身上碾过去了，她并没有折断。她直直地躺在那儿——而且她尽可以一直在那儿躺下去。

英语故事短文带翻译推荐8

　　英语小短文带翻译

　　How to Study English Well? 怎样学好英语?

　　We all know that English is very useful. Many people in the world speak English. So more and more people in China study it.

　　How to study English well? I think we must have a good way to study English. If you want to learn English well, listening, speaking, reading and writing are important. You should listen to tapes every day. You should often speak English with your teachers and friends. You should read English every morning. And, you had better keep a diary every day. In this way, you can study English well.

【参考译文】

　　我们都知道英语很有用，世界上有许多人讲英语。所以中国也有越来越多的`人学英语。

　　怎样把英语学好?我想我们必须有一个好的学习英语的方法。如果你想学好英语，听、说、读、写很重要。你应该每天听磁带，你应该经常同老师和朋友们讲英语，你应该每天早晨读英语，而且你最好每天记一篇日记。用这种方法，你就能学好英语。

英语故事短文带翻译推荐9

　　英语励志短文：超越卓越的自己

　　You! 生命掌握在你的手里——超越卓越的你!

　　Consider...YOU. In all time before now and in all time to come, there has never been and will never be anyone just like you. You are unique in the entire history and future of the universe. Wow! Stop and think about that. You're better than one in a million, or a billion, or a gazillion…

　　You are the only one like you in a sea of infinity!!!

　　You're amazing! You're awesome! And by the way, TAG, you're it. As amazing and awesome as you already are, you can be even more so. Beautiful young people are the whimsey of nature, but beautiful old people are true works of art. But you don't become ”beautiful“ just by virtue of the aging process.

　　Real beauty comes from learning, growing, and loving in the ways of life. That is the Art of Life. You can learn slowly, and sometimes painfully, by just waiting for life to happen to you. Or you can choose to accelerate your growth and intentionally devour life and all it offers. You are the artist that paints your future with the brush of today.

　　paint a Masterpiece.

　　God gives every bird its food, but he doesn't throw it into its nest. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do, it's truly up to you.

　　试想一下……你!一个空前绝后的你，不论是以往还是将来都不会有一个跟你一模一样的人。你在历史上和宇宙中都是独一无二的。哇!想想吧，你是万里挑一、亿里挑一、兆里挑一的。

　　在无穷无尽的宇宙中，你是举世无双的!!!

　　你是了不起的!你是卓越的!没错，就是你。你已经是了不起的，是卓越的，你还可以更卓越更了不起。美丽的年轻人是大自然的奇想，而美丽的老人却是艺术的杰作。但你不会因为年龄的渐长就自然而然地变得“美丽”。

　　真正的美丽源于生命里的学习、成长和热爱。这就是生命的艺术。你可以只听天由命, 慢慢地学，有时候或许会很痛苦。又或许你可以选择加速自己的成长，故意地挥霍生活及其提供的一切。你就是手握今日之刷描绘自己未来的艺术家。画出一幅杰作吧!

　　上帝给了鸟儿食物，但他没有将食物扔到它们的巢里。不管你想要去哪里，不管你想要做什么，真正做决定的还是你自己。

　　英语励志短文：Life Is Yours(生命属于你)

　　Don’t wait for someday. This is the day, this is the moment, and this is your opportunity to live.

　　不要等待未来的某天。今天,就在此刻,就是你活出精彩的机会。

　　Let go of any thoughts of limitation. You deserve every joy you can imagine and you’re fully able of c Stop settling for what’s only easy or comfortable or convenient. Give yourself the respect you deserve and take on the difficult challenges that bring real fulfilment1.

　　摒弃任何思想的局限性。你值得享有任何想象中的快乐,而且你完全有能力创造这些快乐。不要满足于简便和舒适的事物。你应该给自己应有的尊重,接受那些能让你实现梦想的艰巨挑战。

　　Give your life some beautiful and meaningful substance2 today. Remind yourself of how fortunate you are to have each moment, and sincerely fill those moments with richness.

　　今天,请让你的生命变得美好和有意义。提醒自己能拥有现在的每一刻你是多么幸运,要用心地、充实地度过每一刻。

　　admit and be thankful for what you desire to experience, to express, to give and to live. Then, fully use the power of your purpose and make it happen. The best of life is never out of reach. It is yours to fulfil, right now.

　　承认你所渴望去体验、去表达、去给予、去经历的事情,并对其心怀感激。然后,充分利用你强大的意志力,使这些事情成为现实。生命中最美好的事情并不是遥不可及的。现在就是你实现它的时刻。

　　英语励志短文：Follow Your Dream(追随梦想)

　　I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

　　The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, ”I want to tell you why I let Jack use my house. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy“s high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

”That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch.

“He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, `See me after class.”

“The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, `Why did I receive an F?”

“The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you”ll have to pay large stud fees. There“s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’

”The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, `Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.’

“Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all. He stated, `You can keep the F and I”ll keep my dream.“”

　　Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, “I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace.” He added, “The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same schoolteacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week.” When the teacher was leaving, he said, `Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids’ dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours.’“

　　Don”t let anyone steal your dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what.

　　我的一个朋友在圣地亚哥(San Diego)南部的圣伊西德罗(San Ysidro)社区拥有一个马场，他的名字叫曼迪罗伯茨(Monty Roberts)。他答应我可以用他的房子来举办一些活动，来为一些年轻人的风险投资计划方案募集资金。

　　记得上次我在他那里的时候，他是这样介绍我的：“我想让你们知道，为什么我会把房子借给Jack用。这让我想起以前曾经发生的跟一个小男孩有关的小故事。这个小男孩是一个游走驯马师的儿子。而父亲总是会到处奔走于各个马厩、跑道与农牧场之间为别人训练马匹。小男孩在高中的正常学习生活也因此不断受到打扰。临毕业的一年，老师给他布置了一篇短文作业，描述一下自己将来想成为什么样的人和会做一些什么样的事情”

“当晚，他写了7页纸的作业文章，构想是他将来想拥有一个马场。详述并绘制一幅图，图中，这个马场有200英亩大，以及各个相关建筑、马厩和跑道的具体地点。还有一个详细的建屋计划---一个坐落在200英亩马场里的4000平方英尺的大房子。”

“小男孩很用心完成了这篇作业，第二天交给了老师。两天后，作业发下来了。一个大大的红色的F出现在作业的头页，还有几个字：课后来见我”

“课后，这个内心充满梦想的小男孩来到了老师面前问：为什么我的作业只得了F呢?”

“老师说：像你这样的学生有这样的梦想非常的不切实际。你没有钱，又来自一个游走驯马师的家庭，你根本没有实现梦想所需要的资源。拥有一个马场需要很多的资金，你必须买地，买种马，将来你还要支付一大笔的配种费用。你根本就无法做到这些。老师接着说：如果你重新写一篇作业，说一些比较实际的理想。我会考虑重新给你打分。”

“小男孩回到家，仔细的想了好久好久。他问爸爸他究竟该怎么办。爸爸说：这样吧，儿子，这个决定由你自己做吧。但我想，这个决定对你来说也非常的重要”

“思考了整整一周的时间后，小男孩最后还是没有把作业做任何的改动，交了上去。跟老师说：你可以继续给我F的评分，而我却要继续保留我的梦想”

　　曼迪回过头对大家说：“跟你们说这些是因为你们现在就正坐在我的200英亩大的马场里的一个4000平方英尺的房子里面。那篇高中作业文章我一直留到现在，做了个框架，现在就挂在壁炉的上方。这个故事中，最精彩的部分是两个夏天之前，给我作业评分F的老师带着30个学生来到了我的马场，宿营了一周。当老师即将离开的时候，他说：曼迪，我可以这样跟你说，当我还是你的老师的时候，我简直就是一个盗取别人梦想的人。那些年，我偷了太多孩子的梦想了。让我感到欣慰和幸运的是，你却有足够的魄力和勇气没有放弃你自己的梦想。”

　　不要让任何人盗取你们的梦想。无论发生什么，跟随你的心，勇敢的前进吧!

英语故事短文带翻译推荐10

　　a farmer has five sons.They are Ted,Bob,Tom,John and Bill. John has no elder brother. He was four years older when his first younger brother was born. The number of Tom's elder brothers is equal to his younger brothers.

　　Bill will be twenty-one years old next year, and he is five years older than Bob. Bob is two years younger than Tom. Ted was sad because he has no younger brother. There are twelve years between him and John.

　　一个农民有5个儿子。他们是Ted,Bob,Tom,John 和 Bill。John没有比他大的哥哥，他比第一个出生的比他小的那个弟弟大4岁，Tom哥哥的数量和他的弟弟的数量是一样的(就是他是老三)Bill 明年就21岁了，他比Bob大5岁，比Tom小2岁，Ted因为没有弟弟而难过 Ted 和John之间差了12岁